Dear Journal,
Today’s date is October 11th, 2013. I finally got a journal! I can’t tell you how excited I am to start filling it with my thoughts, stories, and secrets. I never thought I would enjoy writing as much as I do. This journal was a gift from my lovely/incredible girlfriend, Michelle, who I love more than anything in this world. She was the first one who nudged me to try writing. I’ve discovered that it is the only thing that helps me when things get too tough. I’ve had trouble sleeping the past two years and writing helps! I’m no Shakesphere but who cares? Nobody’s gonna read this anyway. Anyways, back to my beautiful Michelle- we have been together for 4 amazing years and I plan on proposing when the time is right. My first secret to write in this journal is that I already bought the ring and it’s stored in a place where she will never think to look. I’ve been dreaming about marrying this woman from the moment I met her. I’ll keep it short today. I have a real busy day tomorrow. Just wanted to get these little thoughts down in my new journal.
-Oscar Joseph
10/18/2013
After my first week of working my dream job, I am finally able to sit down and write again. What a week it’s been! On one hand- I am suuuuper stoked because this is about everything I’ve worked for. I won’t lie though, on the other hand it’s been chaotic, and I’m still trying to find my footing. I’m trying to remain positive because this is my dream career after all! I met a few new people at the workplace! Steve is my boss and he is genuinely one of the nicest guys I have ever met, I had a big headache yesterday and he sent me home half an hour earlier to get some rest. He wants to meet my soon-to-be wife next weekend over coffee. There’s also Paul who is just hilarious! He has dad-jokes for days! He’s awesome. We made plans to go to the Jets game this Sunday.
-Oscar Joseph
10/27/2013
I took a week out of work. I just… needed to. I don’t know what’s going on. Last Sunday, Paul ad I went to the Jets game. It should’ve been a blast seeing my favorite team win, right? About halfway through, I just… felt like the battery in me died I guess. I remember I told Paul I had to go to the men’s room and I just left. Walked right out without even saying goodbye. I haven’t given him an explanation yet.. I don’t even know if I have one. Since then, everything feels off. I haven’t been able to sleep. I have no motivation whatsoever. There are so many thoughts constantly racing through my mind, it’s like my brain is running a marathon. I keep telling myself I’m just in a funk and I’ll get out of it soon. There are so many things in my life that are going so good for me right now! But none of that really seems to matter much to me right now. It feels like that’s all happening to a different person. I wanted to write more tonight but I just…can’t.
-Oscar Joseph
11/20/2013
Dear Journal, I feel much better! I finally feel like myself again. I guess I just needed some time to get back on track. I feel like ever since I got the job, my life has been spinning in a whole different direction. Its been a major adjustment but I’m getting there… I’ve been taking melatonin to help me fall asleep and for the first time in weeks, I’ve gotten some shut eye! Two nights in a row! I feel ready to dive back into work and all that now. The real reason I decided to write tonight is about the proposal. I’m finally making plans and reservations to pop the question! I want this proposal to be as perfect as my sweet Michelle. After she says yes, I want to take her to Greece. She’s always loved that place and wanted to go. I know it costs a lot but anything is worth it if it’s for my princess. That’s all for tonight, I have planning to do!
-Oscar Joseph
12/06/2013
Dear Journal, today’s the day! I am going to propose to the love of my life. I’ve made all the plans weeks ago- reservations for a private dinner, flowers, candles, all that good stuff! And when the time is right, I’m going to pop the question. Tonight is going to be magical. I’ve been playing this moment over and over again in my head! This is it. This is the start of the rest of our lives together. I can’t wait!
-Oscar Joseph
01/06/2014
Dear Journal, if you’re wondering how it went… it didn’t. I can’t seem to remember where I put the damn ring. I have not slept in four days, I’ve been just tearing my place apart. It’s gone, and so is Michelle. She left me. I flipped out on her when she asked me what I was looking for. What was I supposed to say? “Oh sorry honey I’m just looking for the ring I was going to propose to you with tonight!” The one thing I was looking forward to. Ruined. I have nothing. Nothing except my not so new anymore job. Not that that’s going to last very long either. I am sick and tired of Paul, he won’t leave me alone. He asks me what’s wrong every damn day. I feel like he knows exactly what’s going on and he just wants to see me snap. I can hear his voice in my mind all the time taunting me and picking at me. Maybe I’m just paranoid. To top it off, I’ve been getting complaints over the past month at work. People have been saying I don’t make sense and I seem scattered and don’t know what I’m doing. They’re just bored and want something to talk about. I feel empty inside. None of this means anything without her. Maybe writing used to help but I don’t know… I still feel dead inside.
-O.J
01/10/2014
I’m done with that place. Steve, my very “generous” boss, has been hiding my paychecks and swapping them with fake money. Evey check he gives me feels wrong. I refuse to touch any of that money. I’m keeping it in the envelope, hidden away as evidence. I’ll bring it to the cops and tell them exactly what Steve has been doing. For now, I’m selling my things for cash. Just enough to get by. I don’t trust anyone at work anymore. On my walks to the corner store, I’ve started noticing something strange. A figure, lurking through the trees. It’s hard to make out who… or what.. That thing is but it’s clear that somebody’s watching me. Whoever it is, They’re following me.
-O
01/11/2014
3 A.M.
I am not safe. I am not safe I am not safe I m not safe I am not safe I am NOT safe hes watching me he took michelle I KNOW he did. I se him in the backyard he hides in the trees hiding and watching. He’s waiting. Michelle thinks i’m crazy I know she does but I will find her and keep us safe.
12 P.M.
I still haven’t slept. I feel all dead inside. I dont wanna write about my hallucinations last night. I feel that I am getting worse. I just want the noises and visions to stop. I wish I could shut my eyes and just sleep forever.
1/13/2014
He’s trying to hurt Michelle. I know it. I can feel him stalking her. The same way he stalks me. I walked past her house today, just to make sure she was safe and to see if he was there. And he was. Lurking around her backyard, slipping through trees, waiting to strike her. He thinks I can’t see him but I see everything now. I wont let him hurt her. I wont let him take her. She doesn’t understand. Nobody does, but I know what I have to do. I’ll stop him. I will do whatever it takes to protect Michelle. This ends tonight.
